I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
