Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
