it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
