If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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