Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
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