oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
