I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
