I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
