Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
