he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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