Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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