Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
