it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
