One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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