Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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