It's like God shit irony all over that family
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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