Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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