It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so let's talk penis.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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