i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
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You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
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my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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