In the future we'll all be gay
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
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we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
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I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize