come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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