I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You are a genius and a whore.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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