did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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