i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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