I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize