Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
