why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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