He asked to "fluff my boner.."
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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