Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
