He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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