A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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