I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
