Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize