I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Vodka?
Forever.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Randomize
