fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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