butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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