A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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