Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
