You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
