I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
