sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
