im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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