this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
