I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
