He disabled his match.com account in front of me
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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