Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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