He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
