at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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