thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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