i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
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some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
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After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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