i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
