You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
