I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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