I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
God, I missed his penis.
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