His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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