I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
