You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
