just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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