She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
