I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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